I faced my most difficult parenting decision this year during a hike with my teen. I'm still not sure I handled it right.

31.12.2024 - 04:25 / insider.com / Rocky Mountains

When our family moved to Colorado 18 years ago, I made it my goal to hike a 14er one day.

Colorado has more than 50 mountains that soar 14,000 feet or more above sea level. Your options for hiking them range from strenuous day hikes on well-marked trails to technical routes where some people use ropes and climbing gear .

Between trying to find a hiking buddy and managing my little kids , my dream hike went on the back burner for many years.

But that changed when my 13-year-old and I hiked Mt. Bierstadt this past summer. I found a fellow mom who had hiked several 14ers and felt confident hiking this one with us. We had hiking and outdoor experiences, and we spent the summer doing practice hikes to prepare for our goal.

Bierstadt is widely known as a beginner 14er, and the trail is uncomplicated. I wouldn't call any 14er easy, but this one is on the shorter end, with less elevation gain to get to the top.

Although it was difficult, this climb was one of the most important experiences of 2024 for me.

Despite our 3:30 a.m. wake-up time , my daughter and I started out strong. We began while it was still dark, hiking by the light of our headlamps as the sun came up. The first few hours were interesting, with stream crossings and amazing views. Our snack stop around 7:30 a.m. came with a sweeping vista of the Rocky Mountains.

And then we hit the hard middle slog. It was a long stretch of slow, steady uphill, and it felt like it would never end. My daughter got discouraged — really, really discouraged.

Eventually, my poor girl gave up. She sat down and cried. She was physically exhausted, and I think the altitude sickness got to her as well. She refused to go any further.

We had some water and a snack, and I tried to get her going again. Nope. I tried encouraging her. I told her how proud I was of her for doing this. Passing hikers told her she could do it. She refused to budge.

At this point, I wasn't sure what to do. When do you push your kids forward to accomplish a goal , and when do you let them fail and try again? Both are important. Sometimes, you have to work harder than you ever thought you would. You have to dig deep and fight to the finish. You need grit. And you need to haul yourself up that mountain — whether it's a real one or a metaphorical one.

But sometimes, you need to fail. History is full of people who failed over and over again until they did something astonishing. As a parent, it's my job to provide a safe place where my kids can land after a failure. They need someone to tell them that it's OK and to talk with them about what they learned. They need someone to inspire them to try again.

This was the hardest part of the hike. I was ready with plenty of water,