I left my husband and 2 kids behind for a trip to Greece with my middle son. It gave us proper bonding time.

17.09.2024 - 01:37 / insider.com

I'm a mother of three teenage sons, and the adage "the days are long, but the years are short," has never felt more poignant.

Long gone are the mornings when my boys would wrap their arms around me and give me slobbery kisses, when warm squishy limbs would curl up with me on the couch for story time, when we'd watch the seasons change on our dawdling walks to school, or when cardboard box forts, matchbox car racing tracks, or Lego pieces would blanket every inch of our floor.

I ruminate on how little time remains for us under one roof as a family — especially as we've already reached the single digits for the number of summers we have left before my brood leaves the nest.

It seems like my social algorithms have latched onto this sentiment as well because I keep seeing stories that call attention to the notion that, on average, by the time kids reach 18, they've already spent about 90% of their time with their parents. The remaining 10% is spread out over the decades until their parents pass. I wasn't able to find the origin of this hypothesis, but it rings true for me.

Compared to childhood, where our kids spend the majority of their life at home with their families, once they grow up, move out, and start their own families and eventful lives, only vestiges of time remain for their parents.

We see my husband's family about twice a month, as they live nearby. However, with my family, we only travel once every two or three years to see them, as we live several states away. When my kids were small, we took road trips from Chicago to Montana, a 1,400-mile drive that would take 21 hours.

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The point is: we did the best we could to visit my parents, with three small children in tow, yet as the years went by, and our lives got fuller (and more expensive), we saw them less and less.

Now, as a professional travel writer, one of the perks of the job is that I rack up miles and loyalty points, which I can cash in for trips around the globe. We travel often as a family, with all five of us, and these adventures have brought us an incredible amount of joy and connection.

When we're home, however, my teens scatter and do their own things. From work schedules to afterschool clubs, to hanging out with friends to way too much screen time, sometimes it feels like I scarcely see my dear ones. But, when we're away somewhere, anywhere, they're all mine.

In June, I took my middle son to Greece on an adventure for just the two of us. While I do my best to carve out alone time with each of my children when we're home — my youngest son and I play chess, my middle goes running with me, and my oldest and I will walk the hounds — sometimes routines and obligations simply get in the way, and it's difficult