I'm a single mom who suddenly became an empty nester. I decided to give up my home and travel full-time.

17.11.2024 - 14:21 / insider.com

My youngest daughter was approaching her senior year in high school when she announced that she wanted to live with her dad. I was shocked.

I'd been a single mom with primary custody for over a decade. Despite typical mother-daughter tension, we had a good relationship. I was looking forward to one last year together before she left for college, but she had different plans.

Initially, I resisted and tried to talk her out of moving in with her dad. I then thought about a daughter's special attachment to her father and realized that she had her own reasons for wanting this time with him. At almost 18, she was old enough to decide for herself. I also knew that the greatest gift I could give my daughter was the freedom to make her own choices and be her own person.

But it wasn't easy. I missed my kid. Parenting her and her older sister had been the center of my focus for 20 years, and I felt unprepared to relinquish a role I loved. Who was I, if not a full-time mom? I felt like I was being laid off from the most important job I'd ever done.

But I used this transition as an opportunity to find myself.

Being a single mom without a life partner to divert my attention and soften the transition made this change even worse. My empty nest felt lonelier, and I felt rudderless, struggling to adapt to life independently for the first time in two decades.

I spent a lot of time reading, walking, and sitting with my feelings. I kept thinking: Is this it? Is this all there is to life?

As I thought more about my needs and wants for the first time in years, I realized I faced a similar opportunity as my daughter. I, too, had the chance to individuate and figure out who I was separate from being a mom — and being single would make it even easier.

A passage in Evelyn S. Bassoff's book "Mothers and Daughters: Loving and Letting Go" really stuck with me.

"As her child turns toward others and away from her, each woman faces a void, which forces an internal reorganization," Bassoff wrote. "What lies ahead for women is the chance to channel their creative energies in new ways."

After a few weeks, I accepted my daughter wasn't going to change her mind and come home, so I started warming up to the idea of being on my own again. For the first time since becoming a mom, I could live life on my own terms and do whatever I wanted.

After 20 years in Seattle, I was ready for a change. As a longtime journalist and communications consultant, I could work remotely, so after much introspection, I decided to give up my apartment, put my stuff in storage, and travel as a full-time house sitter and freelance writer.

In the year since, I've driven more than 6,000 miles up and down the West Coast — from the vineyards of San Luis Obispo,