Solo travel is my secret to a healthy marriage. Spending time apart reminds me of why we got married.

14.09.2024 - 13:54 / insider.com

"Do you have an open marriage?" Perplexed by my coworker's question, I responded with a blank stare. "You're always solo traveling, but you're married. Do you have an open marriage? " he asked again.

If you look at my social media, you will see that I have frequently solo traveled throughout my 12-year marriage. I've hiked through Patagonia, slept in a treehouse in the Amazon in Peru, rode elephants in Jaipur, India, and taken a road trip in a motorcycle sidecar from Beijing to the Great Wall of China.

Whenever I share these travel stories, it's only a matter of time before someone inquires, "Did your husband go with you?" While solo travel is seen as unconventional for most long-term relationships, it has established trust, a greater sense of self, and strengthened the strong bond between my husband and me.

Solo travel is my secret to a healthy marriage .

In 2010, I was a broke college student who was determined to travel as much as financially possible using my hard-earned tips from a bartending gig. That year, I decided to visit a place that had long been on my travel list: San Francisco.

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The timing of the trip wasn't great. As a student, I could only manage to travel during the December holidays, which are among the most expensive times to travel. As I began to consider canceling my trip, a friend of mine encouraged me to try CouchSurfing .

The following week, I found myself at the corner of 18th Street and Lexington in San Francisco's Mission District to meet my Couchsurfing host, Matt. I never would have guessed that 16 months after meeting, we'd be married.

Throughout our relationship, we have always recognized that we have dreams as a couple, but we also have individual dreams that shouldn't be put on the back burner. Those individual dreams give us a sense of joy and personal accomplishment that enables us to be our best selves within our relationship. Maintaining this sense of autonomy within our marriage has helped us to avoid any resentment .

In the years that followed our 2012 wedding, life could best be described as often being very busy and loud.

I worked in television for five years and co-own a summer camp with my husband. My phone had become my constant companion; the sounds of its rings and constant pings were the soundtrack of daily life.

Solo travel allows me to slow down and remove the power that life's demands can have. I often travel to remote places that have limited access to Wi-Fi or cell service, so I'm forced to unplug from the world.

When I travel solo, I am forced to sit with myself and examine things that are boiling under the surface. In 2022, I took solitude in Peru's Amazon rainforest. I used this time to dissect the deep