The Pressure to Get the Perfect Vacation Photo

26.11.2024 - 18:37 / cntraveler.com

This is part of Traveling in Our Bodies, a four-part series that reflects on how women's bodies influence their movement through the world.

“Can you just… step back and maybe bend down a little bit? Perfect.”

After two minutes of continuous posing I made my way towards my fiancé to inspect his photography skills. I wanted to commemorate my 24th birthday with an Instagram post from my vacation in Phuket, examining no less than 50 photos of myself standing beneath the palm trees that line Patong Beach—50 photos that I already knew weren’t going to get posted. I gave him a tight lipped smile and said, “Thank you.” He noticed my mood shift. “You don’t like them.”

I buried my feet deeper and deeper in the sand, hoping to distract myself and mask my emotions. Instead of unlocking the part of my brain that relishes in being overly critical of myself, I shrugged.

There’s no point in lying, I thought. “No.”

And then the dreaded, “Why not?”

I can’t remember the singular moment when I started to feel self-conscious about my body. Some can pin-point it to an off-handed comment or the moment their favorite dress felt a little too tight. But Thailand, a place I had dreamed of visiting, was a turning point—I returned home with no photos of myself from the trip, and realized what I was losing in doing so.

Commerce writer Paris Wilson's first photo from her DSLR camera.

The thing is, I love taking photographs when I'm traveling. I got my first digital camera at age 12 while on a cruise with my parents in 2011. My parents and I docked in St. Maarten and I was eager to get off the boat and explore. I immediately began memorizing every detail—the other giant ships that were docked next to ours, the bright sage flowers that adorned the bushes, and the cobblestoned streets that took us from one vibrant gift shop to another. After sifting through an egregious amount of magnets and mugs, we stopped in a jewelry store that also sold cameras—that’s where I picked up my Nikon Coolpix S2500. From that moment on, my camera was my honorary plus one. On my way back to the ship, I took photos of everything I saw.

Though my family members and friends were more than willing to smile for the camera from time to time, I learned early on that if I wanted to improve my photography skills, I’d have to be my own test subject. I'd pack my small handheld tripod, placing it on tables, rocks, anything that seemed flat enough, before I'd set the timer and run off with 10 seconds to position myself in front before the shutter snapped.

I took my camera with me on family trips to Paris, Rome, and Toronto. My camera bag would take up most of my carry-on and my parents would ask if I wanted to leave the camera at home to make room for souvenirs. But