I moved to Spain, got divorced, and was feeling lonely — until I found a new way to make friends
02.10.2024 - 18:07
/ insider.com
It's 9 p.m. I'm standing onstage, and the wooden tables spread across the crowded bar are packed with people. The lights are dimmed, and the air smells like yeast and hops. And Jennifer, one of the members of my improv group, is squawking like a duck.
There is something thrillingly hilarious about her impression. Flapping her wings and wagging her tail feathers manically, she somehow captures the very essence of duck-ishness. The crowd roars with laughter.
Later, I spin an impromptu romantic yarn about a mole. My friend Will becomes a frenetic sports pundit, belting out razor-sharp commentary with quick-fire energy. Alex, the host, warms up the crowd with witty banter, towering over us all in his brightly patterned shirt. Accents are thrown around at random; pop culture references go every which way. There are no rules.
Two years ago, I couldn't have imagined that I would be jumping around whimsically on this stage. Trapped in a struggling relationship and unsatisfied with my career, I constantly felt anxious and on edge. At a friend's wedding, where I was asked to be a bridesmaid, my social anxiety was so intense that I had one too many glasses of wine and sat out most of the event.
The COVID-19 pandemic led to an uptick in loneliness around the world, as lockdowns and travel restrictions kept people away from family and friends. And I was no exception.
In early 2020, I'd just spent my first year and a half in Seville, Spain. Plans to integrate, learn Spanish, and meet new people were interrupted by lockdowns and panic over new virus variants.
My husband and I had moved to Spain thinking we'd travel around and enjoy a great quality of life while working remotely. Instead, with travel bookings canceled and meetups kiboshed, I settled into a rigorous work-from-home routine, interspersed with immigration paperwork and reading up on vaccines. I tried to keep in contact with friends in North America through video calls, but it just wasn't the same.
As a remote freelancer, my workload increased as companies around the world transitioned to remote work. I went from casually teaching English lessons online to launching a remote copywriting business, where I was often answering emails 24/7. The stress and pressure, combined with the quirks of renting an old apartment and managing immigration paperwork, quickly became overwhelming.
As the years trickled by with no end in sight, I began to wonder what I was doing in Spain, and questioned whether the move had been worth it. The gloominess on the news didn't help.
Eventually, my marriage succumbed to the pressure of these challenges and fell apart. I found myself starting a new life on my own in Spain. This was a scary time, but also a welcome opportunity for a