My husband and I have traveled in a camper van for 25 years. Living in such a small space can be draining on our relationship.

01.10.2024 - 22:11 / insider.com

In the mid-70s, my then-boyfriend Barry and I tested our commitment to each other by exploring Britain's national parks and villages in a used campervan for three months.

The countryside was wild and spectacular, but that spring was especially wet, and we spent many hours cooped up in tight quarters. Still, we survived, and I'm happy to report we passed the test.

That was our first attempt to live together in a cramped space, but certainly not our last. Since then, we've also spent two weeks on a 25-foot sailboat and slept on a futon for a few weeks in my former office when we were between homes.

But our longest success story has been squeezing ourselves into the 16-foot campervan we've owned for the last 23 years, which we use to explore northern California and southern Oregon during the warmer months of the year.

A campervan is a little brother to an RV: 16 feet long compared to twice that length or more in a motorhome. It also comes with none of the amenities found in RVs. There's no toilet, shower, or free-standing bed. Our loveseat-length bench doubles as a bed, which means we unfold it, make the bed at night, and reverse the process in the morning.

Living in cramped quarters like our van can definitely challenge our relationship, but we've learned to make it work. Here's how.

WhileBarry and I enjoy each other's company, we also each thrive on alone time. To create this, we've had to figure out how to spend time apart when we're on the road.

We spend a good chunk of our daylight hours outside, walking, hiking, paddling, or cycling. We do all these things together but turn them into solo activities. So, we do them near each other but don't necessarily interact.

Plus, I go to bed and get up earlier than he does.

We each contribute to the success of a van trip and each play to our strengths.

Before leaving, Barry fills the propane and water, deflates and stores the kayak and paddleboard, puts the bikes on the rack, and stores our folding solar panels.

I plan meals, buy and store the food, and cook and wash the dishes. We take turns putting the bed down at night and away in the morning.

Neither of us likes to drive long distances, so usually, the most we drive on any given day is 2 1/2 hours, broken up by rest stops. We also don't like urban traffic, so we avoid big cities whenever possible. For this reason, we usually stay near home, though there are exceptions.

I remember one long trip to Death Valley and Joshua Tree National Park. We ended up spending the night right off I-5 near a convenience store in Bakersfield, California. Exhausted from driving, Barry went to sleep early while I wandered around the foggy parking lot around 10 p.m., getting a kick out of the weird, surreal atmosphere. We each