Our monthly advice column tackles all your destination wedding quandaries (and confusions) with intel straight from industry experts.
I love being a single person at weddings. No one to coordinate schedules with, no one to argue with about gifts, no one to hold me back from flirting with the bride’s hot brother. All to say: the matter of plus-ones at weddings can be stressful. The topic becomes complicated, as ever, when it’s a destination wedding.
For a guest, it helps to have a plus-one split the costs with you: if the to-be-weds won’t cover lodging; and if you’re in an unfamiliar environment, a travel buddy could help with mitigating travel anxiety. For couples, being too generous with the plus-ones could inflate the guest list with people you hardly know or have never met; and your costs will multiply with all those mouths to feed (and hotel bills and airfare to cover, if that’s also your shout).
Everyone has their own rules about who gets plus-ones at weddings, but does that calculus change for a destination wedding? Should all guests automatically get a plus-one since they are traveling for the event—even if they’re not married, engaged, or in a “serious” long-term relationship? And what if a single person wants to bring along a friend, a sibling, or a parent?
This is one of those customs that doesn’t change whether you’re getting married in a backyard in Brooklyn, at a winery in Cape Town, or at a beach in the Maldives: Guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship must receive a plus-one.
Akeshi Akinseye, founder and CEO of Kesh Events, a luxury wedding and event planner, says it’s standard practice to invite both halves, “even if you haven’t met the partner.” Additionally, it’s often customary to give members of your bridal party a plus-one too, regardless of their relationship status. Akinseye says, “Think of it as a gesture of thanks for their efforts.”
That said, it’s possible that, if a couple gives a guest a plus-one, the guest may not bring a romantic partner, as is expected for plus-ones. If a guest instead brings a friend, a sibling, or even a parent, couples should go with the flow. Sojourner Auguste, founder of Erganic Design, an event planning firm that focuses on luxury and multicultural weddings, says that a guest is entitled to bring whomever as their plus-one if the couple gave them—and already budgeted for—a plus-one. One to-do item: “I highly recommend that a guest let the couple know who they’re bringing, especially if there’s a change in name for the plus-one.”
If you have the room in your budget, Akinseye suggests that couples give their guests who are single a plus-one too. “A plus-one can be a thoughtful gesture,” she says, “so your guests can have
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Steeped in history and standing as a testament to human ingenuity, the Brooklyn Bridge has been a cornerstone of the city’s infrastructure since 1883. Spanning the East River, the bridge is so impressive that a trip to New York City would be incomplete without a visit. There’s also a host of fun things to do at either ends of the overpass. On the Manhattan side, there’s South Street Seaport, Pier 17, and One World Observatory (from which the city’s major sites are vividly in view), 9/11 Memorial Pools and Museum, and views of the Statue of Liberty at Battery Park. In Brooklyn, you can relax at Brooklyn Bridge Park, and take in the breathtaking Manhattan Bridge and skyline views from Dumbo. To save you from choosing to pledge allegiance to one side over the other, opting for one of the hotels near Brooklyn Bridge gives you the best of both worlds. It takes around an hour to walk over (or less if you hop on a Citi Bike), so you can easily stroll between must-see sites. The hotels here have been selected not only for location, but for the outstanding level or service, facilities, and range of accommodations.
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