I'm an American mom living in Italy. Parents here are more relaxed and have an emphasis on enjoying life more.

04.08.2023 - 10:15 / insider.com

I'm an American originally from New York City. But for almost 10 years, I've been living in Italy. I also gave birth to my daughter here, almost five years ago. My daughter is bilingual and fully immersed in Italian ways of life.

Being an American raising a child in a country different than my own can be a challenge. After all, I'm an American and was raised in America by American parents. I'm raising my daughter in a country where the first language is my second and with an Italian father.

Italian and American parents couldn't be more different in their parenting approach. And I think Italian parents are onto something. 

I've noticed that my European friends who have kids don't rely on a specific type of parenting style — such as the four types of parenting referred to as authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. Italian parents seem to me more laid back and relaxed, and that shows in their parenting.

 For instance, in our household, I am definitely the stricter parent when it comes to our daughter and my husband is way more relaxed. What he see's as strict on my end — I see as educating our daughter and trying to get our daughter to listen. 

In the US, I see how out of hand getting kids involved in after-school activities has become for my friends. Now don't get me wrong, getting kids involved in sports or clubs or music is necessary — I just don't see the benefit of filling their every free minute with activity. In Italy, kids may play soccer at the park with their friends or go to dance classes, but being part of clubs and groups is not as emphasized as it is in the US.   

In the summer months,  since school is out, kids in Italy don't really stick to a schedule. For one thing, in the summer months, Italy can get incredibly hot, and the best time to go out and enjoy the day is in the evening. So, kids often stay out very late. Plus, in August, due to the heat, most of Italy shuts down, and that includes work and camp. Kids are just able to be kids and go to bed whenever they want.

In Italy, there is such an emphasis on enjoying life that Italians make that a habit. They enjoy life and their family. They are not as attached to their careers or work or the idea of constantly working to make more money, but their priority is being happy and being with their family.  

To me, it all comes down to balance. There are some things that European parents seem to have down and some that I prefer the American way. It's all about how you approach parenting in your own unique way.