This may be Ronaldo Island but there’s more to Madeira than the football star’s hotel
28.07.2023 - 15:35
/ theguardian.com
/ Cristiano Ronaldo
A statue of Cristiano Ronaldo towers over a crowd of admirers as they queue to have their photos taken with it. One young man with a leather satchel thrown over his shoulder giddily takes his turn. I’m watching from the roof of the Pestana CR7 hotel in Funchal, Madeira.
This CR7 is less like a hotel and more like a safari into the mind of a narcissist. Ronaldo is everywhere. Signed shirts from his appearances for Manchester United, Real Madrid and Portugal adorn the walls. There’s Ronaldo’s face on the facade, bathroom mirrors, on the door of the main suite and above every bed. This is Ronaldo Island, after all. Even the airport is named after him.
The hotel has quirks: there are dummy CCTV cameras in the bathrooms, pointing at the shower purely for novelty factor. I cover mine with a towel, just in case. Fortunately, I’m not just here for the CR7 experience; I’m visiting my uncle in Machico, Madeira’s historical capital, half an hour’s drive from Funchal. If you do come here, after you’ve worshipped the Portuguese megastar, toured Funchal, braved the glass viewing platform on Cabo Girão’s skywalk, get out of the city and explore.
I’m lucky. My uncle Pete, (not my real uncle but a former care worker who cared for me in a children’s home) has retired here and is looking after a villa for one of his friends, so I skirt accommodation costs. However, there are good deals all over the island, especially if you come out of season, and Madeira has a subtropical climate and boasts year-round sunshine. There’s never a bad time to visit.
Pete acts as a tour guide for the week, and with his 15-year-old staffy, Lulu, we head out in a rickety old Renault Clio, which huffs and puffs up the island’s steep highways, through long mountain tunnels, and along winding dusty dirt tracks.
Madeira is on a dormant volcano and the fertile soils have produced a lush landscape. We drive past elegantly landscaped rows of trees, African tulip with their bright red flappy flowers and tall eucalyptus interspersed with clusters of purple shrubs and palm trees.
“You see how the mountain looks like it has steps?” Pete says, gesturing at the terraces staggered on the mountains. “They’re farms.” The landscape has forced local people to farm vertically; they mostly grow bananas for the Portuguese mainland and grapes for madeira wine.
Off road are an abundance of trails to hike, caves to explore, beaches and taverns. Outside Funchal, it’s all reasonably priced. In fact, it’s a steal. Pints on parts of the island cost a couple of euros, and almost every bar serves drinks with a hearty portion of pickled lupins beans, monkey nuts and occasionally chicken wings and salted fish; you could probably eat a day’s fill here for the cost of a pint