When I moved abroad, my mother was fearful and jealous. It strained our relationship, but I had to chase my dreams.

19.10.2024 - 14:29 / insider.com

At 20, my parents were not thrilled about me studying abroad. They encouraged personal growth but were aware of the potential consequences of traveling alone. I believed that growth required stepping out of my comfort zone, and my naive ambition couldn't be deterred.

I thought my parents would be proud of me for following a dream I knew was right. But my father was primarily worried about my safety and jokingly told me to take notes while we watched "Taken," as he didn't have any special skills to find me if I got kidnapped.

My mother, however, expressed concerns about the risks I might face traveling through countries where I didn't speak the language. She worried about how I would finance the semester and said there was a possibility of ending up in a situation like Amanda Knox. I realized that part of my decision's tension stemmed from her unfulfilled dreams. After all, Italy is on everyone's bucket list.

Our mother-daughter relationship was challenged when I finally headed overseas.

At 20, I was pursuing a teaching degree, and this was my chance to experience life firsthand rather than through primary sources.

When my mother was in her early 20s, she worked in Manhattan. Despite being just over the bridge, family members discouraged her from working in the city, considering it dangerous for a young woman. Port Authority was a hub for drug users, the homeless, and prostitutes, they told her.

While most of my mother's fears were beyond my control, I focused on what I could manage and spent the summer working three jobs to fund my semester abroad. Ultimately, studying abroad was cheaper than returning to campus, which eased some of the tension and alleviated some of her worries.

She jokingly commented, "My daughter isn't going to Italy before I do." It was playful, but it did feel like she was jealous of me for chasing this dream. All of this led to normal mother-daughter fighting, but it did challenge our relationship.

She even told me I couldn't go, but I fought back because I was in my early 20s.

When I finally moved to Italy, she didn't come to visit me.

The fact that she couldn't visit while I was there was a missed opportunity we both regretted.

Years later, when I was 24, I decided to return to Italy for my master's degree and moved there permanently. My mother finally seized the chance to visit.

It was a blessing to share this experience with my mother. It was her first time traveling to Europe, and we found ourselves in completely different roles, with me now being the teacher. I made sure to take her to all my favorite places. We explored Rome, ate gelato at the Pantheon, and threw coins in the Trevi Fountain, hoping for her return. We took a weekend trip to Florence, where I showed her my