I downloaded Tinder to find a Paris tour guide. We fell in love, and I just left Texas to be with him.

16.01.2024 - 12:39 / insider.com

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Texas native Ash Highberger, a 30-year-old photographer, who moved to France this month. The essay has been edited for length and clarity.

My friend was going to be working at Paris Fashion Week in 2022. He and his partner had room at their Airbnb for another person.

At the time, he thought there was a possibility of me being able to take photos during the week. I bought my ticket just a week and a half before the trip — it was a spontaneous decision.

When we landed, I got word from the event's organizers that I wouldn't be able to work. It turned out they're very selective about who they allow to bring in professional equipment.

My friend and I realized we had to rethink the entire trip. He was working and didn't have time to hang out, and his partner is the kind of person who likes to live like a local when he travels. So I had to do my own solo thing.

I didn't want to stay in the hotel the entire time. I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre, but I felt nervous to do anything truly by myself. All of a sudden, I had this idea: What is an easy way to just meet up with a local? Tinder.

When we first landed in Paris, we went straight to the train station and entered the city. We sat at a coffee shop, enjoyed a charcuterie board, had some coffees, and even stopped at a little grocery store to buy cigarettes — it was a 'when in Rome' scenario.

I remember all the cars and people were bustling around, and hearing a foreign language spoken fluently for the first time. I didn't know what anyone was saying, but it sounded so beautiful and velvety. It was like a whole new world that was very fun and exhilarating.

I didn't even have Tinder in the States, so when downloading the app, my intention was not romantic. I just wanted to go on a different date every day, and have somebody show me something that they loved about the city.

I expanded my age range and made myself available to both men and women. I would say, "Hey, I'm only in town for a short period, and I'm just looking for someone to show me around."

Of course, my experience of swiping with people was mostly men saying things like, "Taxicab to come to my house?" I was like, "Absolutely f—ing not."

I learned quickly that some people were very romantic. There were a couple of people who had similar interests, but they also ended up soliciting sex. In the first couple of hours, I thought that this probably was not going to work.

But then I got a message from Raphael.

Raphael messaged me and said, "I'm here to sign up for the tour guide position."

I asked him, "What would you do if you were here for the first day ever?" He told me, "I would go eat at this market, I would go to this place, I