I left my 3 kids behind to celebrate my 40th birthday on a Swiss mountain. Being alone was just what I needed.

27.08.2024 - 16:20 / insider.com / Dolly Parton

I've found that women are often expected to give up parts of themselves after entering motherhood. We're pigeonholed into a world where we're supposed to be innate nurturers who only care about our children, not ourselves.

For my 40th birthday, I wanted to follow my interests and passions and do something just for me. My goal was to avoid having to consider anyone else or alter my plans for the greater comfort and welfare of my family.

Rather than drag my three kids on an adventure that would ultimately turn into a trip that wasn't about me at all, I left my brood at home and traveled to a Swiss mountain town. I wanted to hike with bell-clad cows, climb a via ferrata, and go kayaking. And I wanted to do it all alone. Alone, alone, alone.

I felt incredibly grateful that I was in a privileged position to make this choice in the first place. Many mothers are just trying to make ends meet, to survive, and planning an elaborate birthday romp across the Atlantic Ocean isn't an option.

I was fortunate enough to have a husband who was willing and able to take on all the parenting duties at home while I traveled abroad. As we didn't have the option of childcare, going solo was the only option for a kid-free trip. Of course, I was worried that if something happened and my kids needed me, I wouldn't be there. Guilt is an overpowering force field that many moms deal with ad nauseam.

Ultimately, though, I didn't want life to pass me by, leaving my bucket list unchecked. Why should I have to wait until my kids are fully grown to have an adventure of my own? Plus, who knows what my health will be like then or what other responsibilities might take precedence?

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For me, on this birthday, Dolly Parton's words rang true: "If there's something that you need to do, want to do, can afford to do, and got the nerve to do, I think you should do it if it's going to make you feel better about yourself."

The moment I arrived in Engelberg, about an hour and 15 minutes from Zurich Airport and in the heart of Switzerland, I let out an audible sigh. As someone who grew up in Montana, with nature and wildlife all around, mountains have always felt like home to me — even in a town with a different language and culture. In this small hamlet of under 5,000 residents, I could breathe again.

With a long list of things I wanted to do, I began by making my way to the famous Benedictine Monastery, built in 1120, where monks still live and work.

Next, I bundled up and took a cable car to the top of Mount Titlis in the world's first revolving cable car where, no matter what time of year it is, there's only one season: winter.

I walked across the highest suspension bridge in Europe; wandered through the glacier cave,