For Surfing Moms, Getting Into the Water Can Take a Village

10.08.2023 - 23:27 / cntraveler.com

In the summer of 2020, my oldest daughter took a surf lesson near our home in Los Angeles, and I paddled out to sit alongside her as she was pushed into waves. Pelicans skimmed the surface of the Pacific, sea lions bobbed, and dolphins even jumped in the distance. I had only ever casually surfed before, but being in the water with her sparked something in me. Even though I struggled to catch many waves, I felt mentally—and physically—challenged; I was doing something new for the first time in a long time.

I often tell people that having a third kid broke me. I laugh when I say it and people laugh when they hear it, since all things considered—healthy baby, happy siblings, roof over our heads—my son was the best surprise for our family. But it’s true. I came undone after he was born.

The pressure of being a “good mom” skyrocketed as I juggled a newborn and two elementary school children. I couldn’t be there for everyone physically, and in some cases, emotionally. As my partner was adjusting to the new family dynamic in his own way, there were days when I felt extreme loneliness, even surrounded by our adorable kids. Amidst it all I was also clinging hard to my old self, a travel journalist with the ability to take off and try new things whenever I wanted.

I eventually realized my anxiety wasn’t just from having three kids, but a postpartum effect, and through treating it I could start to piece myself back together—but  I would have to go much further than carving out an hour a week for an exercise class or a walk without a stroller. Experiencing new things in my life wasn’t over because I had kids, nor was it on hold until my kids got older.

Elizabeth, a member of Surfing Moms, hits the waves. 

After that lesson with my daughter, I began surfing on my own a few days a week, until I noticed another mom I knew in the water. Then another. Slowly, a group of us surf-loving moms banded together and for about a year, we surfed our brains out, taking lessons, trying different boards, and wiping out over and over again. It was revolutionary for us, but it followed in a long tradition of women banding together in the water.

“There's this expression which I sort of semi-adopted, that says, ‘Don’t lose your wild,’ says Elizabeth Madin, a marine ecologist on Oahu, and fellow surfing mom. “It’s so easy to lose the wild parts of us. To have things in your life that are challenging and adventurous is really important for parents, especially mothers.”

Surfing, as a sport, as a hobby, as a culture, has long been dominated by men and subsequently, women have organized** **their own support groups and surf retreats to feel comfortable in the water, and out. Most of these groups are loosely formed, yet a few have taken