"Did you ask your husband?"
14.05.2024 - 11:45 / insider.com
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation and emails with Gladys Nkengasong , a 27-year-old consultant who moved to the UK from Atlanta in 2021. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I grew up in a few different places — mainly the Ivory Coast and Atlanta. My parents are diplomats, so we moved around a lot.
I was doing my bachelor's in Atlanta, and then I moved to England to do my master's. I started out in Southampton. Then, in 2022, I moved to London.
I always tell people to move to a different country in their 20s — but don't move to London.
I've looked into moving to New York. When I saw the rents, I was like, "Oh, this is not feasible."
I live with a roommate, pretty close to central London. I pay about £1,500 (around $1,880) in rent. We have a few amenities, like a gym and a yoga room.
It is affordable, but I think what makes it unaffordable is the salaries. For my first role after my master's, I was making £25,000 (around $26,900). My friend who moved to New York when I moved to London started at $80,000. We had the same degree.
In Atlanta, I was making more working part-time than I was full time in London.
People in London tend to stick with friends they formed in school. My therapist was like, "In London, you will be the person who has to initiate a lot." That's what I found myself doing, but it gets so tiring.
It can get really lonely. You can go out and spend the whole day and not speak to anyone. Whereas, in Atlanta, at the gas station, someone's talking to you. You're at Target, someone's talking to you.
Something that affected my entire London experience so far is that I run into a lot of people who have a lot of negative sentiments about Americans.
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If I meet someone and they're like, "Oh, where are you from?" I'm like, "Canada."
Some people love Americans, and then some really don't. But I didn't realize how many people didn't until I moved.
In my first job in London, people in the office would always have pub drinks after work. I used to decline a lot.
But then my manager called me into a meeting and was like, 'We just don't feel you're very enthusiastic. It just doesn't feel like you like being around us." I had a strong feeling it was because of this pub drink thing.
I don't drink casually. If I drink, we're celebrating something.
Socially, a lot of people's first instinct is to say, "Hey, let's grab a drink. Let's go out to this bar, let's go to this event," and everyone is drinking. It's just not my cup of tea. I started noticing that it really alienates you in London.
I started going to the pub, and a month later, my manager was like, "We feel like you're part of the family now."
At work at my agency in Atlanta, things weren't really
"Did you ask your husband?"
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