I went on an 8-month solo road trip after a breakup. I'm engaged now, but I still travel alone.

26.02.2024 - 21:03 / insider.com

In my late 20s, I left my beloved Philadelphia apartment near friends and favorite restaurants and moved to the suburbs closer to my boyfriend and work. Then my boyfriend moved to Texas for a job. After five months of long distance, the pandemic hit, and I started working remotely from his home in Houston.

These choices seemed inevitable. Following cues from media and society for most of my life, I thought being in love meant adapting to my partner's needs. Though our relationship had been unsteady , I hoped bending to the demands of his life would help repair our bond. The opposite happened: I felt like I was losing myself.

Three months into lockdown, we broke up . I returned to the apartment I had left behind in the Pennsylvania suburbs and immediately felt lost. I passed my ex's old house on morning commutes to work, and our date-night restaurant was the only Thai place in the neighborhood.

I needed time away to heal, and the time I used to spend browsing for engagement rings online was now spent scanning travel blogs on top US destinations . Over the next few weeks, I loaded necessities into my orange Toyota Corolla hatchback.

With a plan that included a few national parks and states I'd never visited, I started driving west.

During my eight-month trip, I never quite knew where I would end up and spent most nights at campgrounds or self-check-in rentals reserved only a few days in advance. A month into the trip, I also booked the only remaining spot on a guided, three-night backpacking trip to summit Grand Teton three weeks in advance.

Though incoming storms made a summit attempt unviable, we made it to base camp. I spent three days admiring the peaks above and the valley below covered in stunning white snow.

I realized that traveling without an itinerary and only a few vague ideas of where I wanted to go allowed me to focus every moment on myself.

While I still felt heartbroken and lonely at times, I discovered small ways to return to myself. During a stay at Lake Huron, I made white lemon ginger tea with water from my camping stove after an early morning bout of insomnia — a small, nurturing act of self-care. Later that day, I bought five more flavors and continued a daily tea ritual throughout the trip.

Because I was only responsible for myself on the road, I was more attuned to what I needed, and I felt myself beginning to heal. I realized it wasn't selfish to pay attention to my own needs, it was self-care. Committing to my needs and wants was critical to building confidence and independence .

It's been nearly three years since my solo trip , and when I got home, I felt ready to date authentically. Rather than mold myself to be more desirable, I listened to my wants and