Long lunches, casual friendships, no one to worry about: solo holidays are brilliant for older women like me

05.03.2024 - 11:47 / theguardian.com / Reina Sofía / Long

It’s a midweek morning and I’ve just woken up in a hotel room in Madrid on the first day of a minibreak. The day stretches deliciously ahead: shall I go first to the Prado, or the Reina Sofía museum? Shall I have brunch and a late-afternoon main meal, or tapas here and there? The Gran Via is just up the street; I fancy a wander around the shops, but I’ll probably leave that till later in the day.

The fact is, I can do exactly what I want, when I want, because I’m holidaying alone. Like an increasing number of older women in the UK and across the world (I’m 61), I’ve discovered the huge benefits solo travel has to offer. It helps me to recharge my batteries, it’s empowering and it doesn’t have to be horribly expensive (I generally travel off-season and midweek). It takes me out of my comfort zone in just the right way, allowing me to have the experiences, the food and the fun that I want.

Like many women who travel alone, I have a partner, but his life is a lot less flexible than mine and he doesn’t always want the kinds of breaks I do. Phocuswright, a US market research firm, reports that there was a 46% increase last year in people over 55 travelling without their significant other – and most were women. In the UK, the Association of Travel Agents says solo travel is up from 6% of trips in 2011 to 16% in 2023.

Deborah Ives, who works in international marketing, is not surprised. Fourteen years ago, shortly before her 50th birthday, Ives split from her partner and decided to go on her own to Borneo, a trip they had booked together. “I’d loved planning it and thought: sod this, I’m not going to let it stop me going,” she says. “I remember feeling absolutely petrified as I was about to board my flight at Heathrow. But I had the most amazing time. It gave me a real sense of adventure and freedom. I remember days when I thought: no one knows where I am right now. It felt exhilarating.”

Back home, telling her friends about the trip, she sensed some were keen to try solo travel, but had worries and wanted advice. In response, she set up a Facebook group called Solo in Style. “For a long time, it was me, my sister and a few friends and we’d post something occasionally,” she says. She half expected the group to fold during the pandemic, but they kept it going with virtual journeys. Then, as the world started to reopen, the group’s membership shot up. “We’ve now got 485,000 members, with about 15,000 joining a month,” she says. “About 60% are from North America; most of the rest are from the UK, Australia and New Zealand. There are women in their 50s into their 80s in the group.”

One is Kay Johnson, 58, a nutritionist, who has enjoyed solo travel since she hitchhiked around the UK in her teens. When we speak,