My Florida honeymoon ended with me in an ambulance
15.11.2023 - 00:27
/ insider.com
In 2015, my new wife and I headed to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, for our honeymoon.
We spent the first half of our trip doing everything she wanted, like hitting the beach and shopping. All I wanted was to charter a deep-sea fishing excursion, so she booked one that advertised free food and drinks on board.
We weren't scheduled to leave until 11 a.m., so we celebrated our marriage the night before until the wee hours.
Dehydrated and exhausted, we dragged our tails to the marina the next morning and boarded the charter.
Once on board, we met the family joining us on the boat: a father, his teenage daughter, and his preteen son. We introduced ourselves and made friends, as one does to make things less awkward.
It was 105 degrees Fahrenheit and all I wanted was a bottle of water and food.
Unfortunately, I discovered the "free lunch" on board consisted of bologna, bread, and soda. No water.
We carried on and headed out to sea, floating past all of the yachts and waterfront homes of celebrities. For about an hour, there wasn't so much as a nibble on any of the lines.
All of a sudden, all five poles got hit. We had encountered a band of Bonito — not really a desirable fish taste-wise, but they fight like hell.
I got mine reeled in first and decided to be Timmy Toughnuts by helping everyone else reel in their catch.
After reeling in five giant fish, I sat down to take a breather.
It started with a cramp in my neck and then in my left hand. My hands seized up and I couldn't move them. The fishing pole felt locked in my grasp.
My face went numb and I started drooling. The preteen boy tried to help me by giving me a water bottle. I puked in his face.
The captain of the ship called the police and the US Coast Guard.
My new wife and the first mate on board began showering me with ice and cold water to cool my body down. I couldn't speak as the Coast Guard and county sheriff's office escorted our boat to shore.
When we returned to the marina, EMTs told me I was dehydrated and I'd had a heatstroke. Muscle cramps and vomiting are two major symptoms — and heatstroke can be serious if not treated immediately.
Fortunately, we'd made it back in time and the icy shower helped me avoid serious organ damage. I was given an IV and advised to hang out in the air-conditioned back of the ambulance for a while.
The entire time, my new wife was snapping pictures and posting on social media, sharing how she'd never been in an ambulance before.
Perhaps it was an omen. We've since gotten divorced — and I've promised myself I'll bring plenty of water on any excursion that involves a hot day and a boat.
I still feel bad about ruining the other family's fishing trip.