I moved to Europe thinking I would thrive. But I felt misunderstood and homesick, so I returned to the US.

07.03.2024 - 20:09 / insider.com

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Nadia Crevecoeur, a 26-year-old project manager from New York who traveled to and lived in many countries, including China, Portugal, Ireland, Germany, France, Denmark, and Italy, before moving back to the US in 2023. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I have always had a strong interest in international culture and politics, and saw myself as somebody who would be a global citizen. It was the vision that I had for my life, and my studies also steered me towards that direction.

In college, I studied international affairs and had the privilege of living abroad in Geneva, Switzerland, and Brussels, Belgium. I had a great time in those countries. After graduating, I thought about participating in an international teaching program and following in my friends' footsteps.

A lot of people who study international affairs or work in the field end up living abroad. I had seen many people do it successfully. I thought they had great lives and had life-changing experiences, and I wanted that for myself.

When moving to a new country, you have to realize that the mindset of thinking is different. There are just so many little things that contribute to a cultural shift like food, language, and even mannerisms.

In school, I thought I wanted to be a nomad and drift around.

But after moving to Europe to teach in 2022, I found that, unless I'm living somewhere super close to the US, I don't think I can live abroad. It's just not for me.

I don't think a lot of people realize that studying abroad is a completely different experience than working and living abroad.

I'm not new to European culture, but the cultural differences I experienced living there were a lot more than I initially anticipated.

The reality of social media is that whenever you mention a specific country people from there tend to send you hate mail, so I'll leave it broad.

During the eight months that I lived in Europe, I felt a lot of isolation and homesickness. I know every traveler deals with this, but mine just felt overwhelming.

I'm usually a very outgoing person. I love going out to do anything, even if it's just walking around and taking pictures or exploring a new cafe — I'm very motivated by fun. But I started to notice I didn't want to do the same things that normally bring me excitement.

My personality started to change in a way that I had not known myself to be. I became very introverted and stopped engaging with people. I'm typically characterized as an overachiever, but it became very difficult to just do basic tasks like keep a schedule.

Depression looks differently in Black women — that was something that I wasn't aware of.

I never walked into this thinking it was